Ambition, Drive, and Burn Out

It’s been a bit since I posted an actual update here. I set a goal to post regularly here at the beginning of the year. The weekly updates proved an easy way to do it.

Over the past few years, Fins shouted, repeatedly, that I was running myself into the ground. I didn’t realize it for a while, but 4 years ago I left a frustrating job for an even more stressful one. I wanted out of corporate America to do something more interesting. The opportunities for advancement seemed endless.

I’m not sure when the new gig took a turn for the worse. The first year or so centered around building and releasing a cool product. For the longest time, I’ve defined success in my profession as “getting products out the door”. When company tasked a team to build a new product, but failed to create an environment to build it, the end result was a slow, lingering, failure.

They’ve since tried to address several of the perceived root causes, but, I feel, in negative ways.

In the end, the new job proved both stressful and frustrating, and that was too much. I’ve left and gone back to corporate America. Funny enough, my current big company allows me to talk a bit about working there (with a few caveats). They do require me to add a disclaimer though.

The opinions of this blog are mine alone and do not reflect the opinions, business practices, plans, etc… of my employer.

I’ve changed it slightly from the HR mandated version on account of not actually acknowledging who they are here. If you figure it out, then there usual disclaimer applies. In any case, this blog isn’t about whizz-bang ultra cool electronic gadgets.

Fate & Fin are entering yet another “building year”, but with a renewed focus. The past several months have been hard for both of us. On the positive side, I spent some time analyzing whats important, where Fin and I want to go, and how we’re going to get there.

Fin has informed me that I’m not allowed to make any new big plans right now. So, I won’t promise to more interesting / better content here. However, I’m now working toward a new priority: getting healthy. I read multiple times about burnout, and never really figured it could impact so many different areas of my health the way it has. Until it did.

In the past I’ve had goals along the lines of ‘get up earlier’, ‘work out more’, ‘eat healthier’. Little did I realize that those goals would be difficult or impossible without asking why I feel a need to sleep in more, why do I have little desire to work out, and why do I crave constant junk food.

So, for the time being, I’m focused on… “being”.

— Fate

Lazy Sunday Listening

The 90s brought… even more creativity. 3 videos from the first half of the 90s.

— You can’t talk 90s without mentioning Nirvana, Teen Spirit quickly became the anthem for my generation

— One of the more controversial music videos I’m linking, CLOSER hits on all sorts of taboos (NSFW!)

— The mid 90s… controversial was cool

— Fate

Lazy Sunday Listening

I bring you… The 80’s music video. I vaguely recall hearing about the rise of MTV throughout the 80s. My parents only had cable for a brief period, but I remember visiting friends and always being disappointed when the TV sat on the “music” station. Boring.

Of course now, I don’t know that calling it a “music” station even remotely works. 80s music videos had some crazy production values. And, I bring you 3 samples.

– Welcome to the 80s, says Judas Priest. Great song for air guitar says local police.

– Random Ninjas, what’s not to like?

– Before Miley… Madonna did controversy with a lot more class.

Of course, no discussion of the 80s is complete without the one and only…. Mind you, it’s a bit more viewing than listening given the length of the exposition…

Fate's Weekend Update v.13

Haunted House Season – West Bottoms haunted houses have opened up for all the horror fans out there.

Traffic Camera Lawsuit – Got a red light camera ticket in KC? There’s a settlement for you.

Vagina Cupcakes Uproar – While I once identified as a feminist the continual stupidity of “feminists” has me backing away from using the term at all. And… if a guy talked about teaching children to “please the penis”… Well, that’s more than a little pedo.

State Line Facts – Facts about the state line between KS and MO in KC.

Sachs Recordings – An interesting podcast on the inside of working at the Fed.

3d printed skin grafts – 3d printing advancing older technologies in new ways…

Microsoft threatens – In the midst of mass layoffs, Microsoft is threatening to move offices to Canada unless H1B visas expand.

Australian Surveillance – The US is not alone in wanting to watch your network traffic.

FBI doesn’t like privacy – Not surprising given their history. Watch for efforts to make  programmable / consumer encryption illegal…

Russia going to the moon – In 15 years, Russia will put another man on the moon.

Water is old – Apparently, older than the sun. Given the human body is 60% is water… We are all really old.

Enjoy the weekend, it’s nice out.

— Fate

Fate's Weekend Update v.12

Metcalf South Closes – I’m only slightly surprised, and just because I expected the “Great Mall” in Olathe to close first. This comes slightly after the property was purchased. I’m hoping they plan to redevelop rather than let it sit empty.

Plaza Art Fair – Hipsters on parade. Fin and I forgot the fair was going on when we decided to celebrate our anniversary by making a trek out to some nice restaurants there. It worked out, with the exception of some random “Woo Girls” providing moderate annoyance. Fin and I ran into a rare artist that hits on both or our tastes.

Layoffs – Perceptive is laying off multiple workers. I noticed that they seemed to be freezing hiring locally. It appears that most of these layoffs are focused on removing redundancy after Pacman-ing multiple companies. Microsoft has also gone through with Round-2 of their reorganization. It seems us “little people” have to either work at small shops for little money, or choose our allegiances carefully to currently growing organizations. At least Microsoft is focusing its ax currently on middle management dead-weights.

Star in a star – I’m sure there’s an appropriate meme here… but, looks like astronomers found something cool recently.

NFL Domestic Violence – The media is actively attacking the NFL for “domestic violence” issues. Instead of focusing on the NFL breeding domestic violence issues, maybe we should have a frank conversation about how money makers and athletes get a lot of lenience. Hint: Ray Rice should be in jail, not missing games.

NonUnited Kingdom – Scotland votes to not leave the UK. A stronger transition plan would have likely shifted the vote the other way. Cartographers will not need to update that particular region for the time being.

Back to War – I don’t think the resurgence and “need” to return to Iraq/Syria will play well for the democrats. If the Repubs focus on foreign policy over the next few election cycles… We might see some serious shifts in congress.

Pat Roberts In Trouble – As a (likely) future Kansas resident, I’m cheering to see an Independent Senator. (Ok, a Democrat in Independents clothing, but an Independent nontheless). Kansans – PLEASE get out and support ousting the Democrat/Republican duopoly. Also… Pat Roberts is a douche.

Alibaba IPO – A sign of things to come? The largest ever IPO in the US was for, essentially, the Chinese variant of Amazon. In other news, if you’re wondering where that corner-store tobacco store gets all those random cheap TVs, Hookahs, and novelties….

Home Depot Breach – Just when I thought I missed out on cancelling my CC because of a big data breach…

Apple Removes Backdoor – iPad/iPhone won’t have a nice little backdoor to unlock anymore. Curious if we’ll see this legislated back in.

Bono Sucks – As if having U2 shoved down your throat with a recent “free album”, they’re no advocating creating a new “media format”. This simply adds to my list of reasons to avoid Apple products, burn any existing U2 CDs/records, and continue my support for non-asshat music distributors.

More California Stupidity – Don’t share lunch. No sharing! Really…. Yeah…. really. Yet another reason why I don’t want to move to California. Yay safety!

Have a Good Weekend Folks.

— Fate

Lazy Sunday Listening

I’d argue that Music Videos mirrored the Romantic Period’s idea of “Program Music”. Composers would indicate a purely instrumental work represented some sort of story –  a trip to see the torment of Hell, or perhaps something more mundane  in the travels of a sponsor.

Anyway, I’m starting a small series in “Interesting Music Videos” this week with Jeremy. It’s one of many highly controversial videos, and one of a few that adds more than a little depth to the song – at least, letting you know what a seemingly random string of words is about.

Lazy Sunday Listening

Compare and contrast an original and some covers today 🙂

The Original:

Manson’s Cover:

Johnny Cash’s Cover:

Good Song Writing spins endless variations based on personal interpretation. Bad song writing fades into the distance after an initial bang.


Fate's Interesting News Bits v.11

Death Valley Rocks – I remember talking about this in Science class… Now, no more fun with endless hours of speculation…

Movies Suck – “Worst Summer Since 1997” of movie sales. Why? Rehashed garbage. Guardians of the Galaxy / Lego, did make up some ground though.

That “Other” Shooting – No real coverage for this guy in the media, probably because of where it happened. But… there’s actual evidence and he wasn’t fresh off robbing a store. Can we pick our cases for outrage a bit better?

Second Cold War – EU v. Russia, aided by a lukewarm foreign policy in the States. I really hope I don’t end up seeing World War III.

8TB Hard drive – That’s a lotta movies… Or about 4 1/2 days of high-def pr0n…