Burn-Out… Thy Name Is Fate

I’ve only been “actively” seeking a job 2 times in my life. The first, I found employment via a friend’s socializing at the casino. The second, I found employment by returning back to a previous employer. Funnily enough, those times “actively” seeking employment closely match the times I passively applied to a new gig to “see what happens”. Serendipity. At mid-career, I look back and realize that my entire professional life is dictated by chance encounters and recommendations.

Back before college, I had dreams and visions and passion for computing. I wanted to do things, make things. I don’t know that “Hobby” does the idea justice. I enjoyed tinkering. Now, I find a certain wisdom in the mantra of “don’t turn hobbies into profession”.

In any case, I find myself pondering another jump into the job market pool. I’m not sure what I’m looking for. I think maybe downsizing a bit and escaping from the rampant toxicity that surrounds the industry. There’s a reason why so many “social justice” folk spawn from computing. There’s a lot of money to be made but a younger industry attracts egos and narcissists. Downsizing is completely at odds with my growing level of discontent and failure to feel any real sense of “accomplishment”.

I’ve watched my peers grow to new levels of success, and seen those I mentored go on to do some really cool things professionally. Perhaps one day I’ll find my niche as well.

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