I don’t talk much about work here for a couple major reasons. First, I’m not a big fan of writing ‘blog-as-therapy’ entries. Second, my old employer forbade work-related blogging. Big companies generally try to keep their outward facing image consistent. Individuals muck that up.
Now, I’m sure all 3 of our readers will likely have noticed something of a sharp decline in the amount of entries here. I like writing, and when I started this blog, I had high hopes the experiments Fin and I were doing in our daily lives (trash reduction, used vs. new, composting, soap) would make interesting reading. We continued the experiments but I never really wrote about them. And really, the experiments continued more from Fin’s stick-to-it-ness than my efforts. For the past year or so, I’ve been fighting depression.
In early November, I stayed home sick a few days with the flu. Staying at home, I realized just how crappy “the job” making me feel. Of course, it doesn’t help when you’ve heard so much news about lay-offs and friends having difficulty finding or keeping a job. The thought comes, shouldn’t I be happy to just have a job? In my head, there’s a whole essay that answers that question. The short version is that in life it’s important to be happy with what you have, but also strive to do what you want. But then, where will you go?
“But where will you go?” is a bullshit question for fear based decision making. When asked by yourself or others, it tends to be more of an answer than a question. It’s implied that there’s not a better solution or way. You’re at the top of the world already, any other direction will be a step down. Being successful means finding where you want to be, not asking a bullshit question to not make a move.
So, I sent my resume out to a select few companies that struck my interest. I interviewed, and managed to find something new. I’m not sure how long I’ll be in this new spot, or happy there, or any other thing really. For the time being though, I’m happier than I was before. Part of that is finding something that better fits with my desired lifestyle and ideals. I’ve moved into a “Green Company” that will be helping me continue with the volunteer work I’ve been doing at local schools.
As advanced as society and tools have become, our lives have also become complicated. Health insurance, transportation, standard of living, job security, etc… etc… It almost seems to me, that as we moved away from the farms into industrialized civilization, that we introduced complexity just to make things in life seem more meaningful. As much as the tools of civilization make our lives easier, I also wonder if they simply enable us to lie to ourselves too.